Someone posted this website on a friend’s Facebook page and I had to spread the news. Asian Poses. HORDES of pictures of single girls trying to look as cute as possible. Asian girls specifically. This seems to be about as fetishist as you can get. With everything from the quintessential ‘V’ for victory and OK gestures to puffy cheeks and claws there are a lot of poses to incorporate into your next boring photo session while you and your friends are out on the town. Keep in mind, it really only works for young girls who are already cute and asian. It is going to be really embarassing to do the nyan nyan (cat paw) pose and realize you look nothing like the girl in the cat ears modelling poses at the car show. Maybe that is a good thing.

Especially great when standing in line.

Hoodies are something that has become a bit ubiquitous in recent years, but it is tough to stand out in one and not feel like you are too cool for school. These hoodies made from blow up dolls, by artist Sander Reijgers, are a great conversation starter. Especially when they notice the big gaping mouth on the back of your head. Or the nipple hanging off the side. Or even the strangely intriguing pink slit on the front. “Hey, what …is that a…?”. Yes. Yes it is. 

Of course he is Dutch.

Fashion gets knocked off it's pedestal!

A friend of mine is in NY and one of the things on her list was attending the release of Matthew Williamson’s line for H&M. She Twittered about the line-up (expected) and how there was nothing even left on the mannequins for her to strip (my advice) but managed, against all odds, to get a pair of baby blue pants that she was considering returning (can you imagine the line-up for that, not to mention the scorn?). So, is it worth it? What is the point of even going to events like that, or the opening of Top Shop in NY, until the buzz dies down and it becomes another Urban Outfitters? Or H&M for that matter. After my visit last year to the Top Shop on Oxford street I am pretty sure that unless you are 25 or under (or are mutton trying to pass as lamb) there is not much point. I certainly wouldn’t be taking any style advice from someone who is barely legal to drink. Then today I read the most wonderfully acerbic article in the NY Times. Complete with Gang of Four lyrics this is the first mention of Top Shop that hasn’t been a ride on the bandwagon. Enjoy…

Critical Shopper – Topshop – Topshop in Manhattan – NYTimes.com.

P.S. She has decided to keep the pants. 

What year am I living in?

I had started writing a blog about spats and the ones that I thought were cool but I couldn’t finish it. Mostly because I don’t really think they are cool unless you are going to Gatsby’s house, are on stage with Rhianna, or are a Pussycat Doll. I was thinking that it could be a good way to increase the life of your shoes since you wouldn’t need to get new ones but they seem to be about the same price so that’s out too. I know Prada did it but that was so last year. Plus the website I had seen for a brand called Posso had changed their lookbook from spats I almost liked, being modeled standing on toilet seats – which was awesome – to THIS. I don’t even know how to deal. CHAIN EYE? What the hell? I have styled some weird shit in my time but I cannot get behind this. Even if it is has something to do with the Selby pop-up store at Colette, the spats are ugly too. If I ever see someone with a fringed headband on in real life I might just have to tell them what I think of them. Or better yet IGNORE them because they are obviously looking for attention. I would like to get this back to Gatsby please.

‘Star Trek’ Fans Put Kirk’s Command Chair in Their Homes – NYTimes.com.

This article today in the NY Times made me feel like so much less of a dork. I do kind of wish I had that chair, I love a crazy console. I always wanted Lt. Uhura’s set-up though but that goes back to my life long dream of being a receptionist. Where was I?

Right. On a related Star Trek note, I noticed this yesterday on TNG (OK I am still a nerd).

LOOK AT HER NECKLACE! Yes, AND head jewelry but I think this could be worn today with much acclaim. I am checking ebay for it right now. Or maybe I could get some Trekkie to make me one.

I guess you'd have to ask the cat.

Have you ever seen a cat paint? Me neither. Not in person anyway. I did see it on this video on the website Why Cats Paint, a documentary being produced by the Museum of Non-Primate Art. The museum is really just a research institution set up by some nutty Brit who was mad that chimps got all the attention. They also seem to think that moles are conveying some aesthetic purpose to tunneling and that there is some creative expression involved in bird droppings (so apparently when a bird shits on you it is an artistic statement!). The video looks like it could be faked with a lot of close ups á la Toonces but they seem very serious about it. I can’t imagine it is a very widespread phenomenon or wouldn’t we have heard a ton about it? The painting elephant at the Calgary Zoo seems to get A LOT of attention and you can even buy prints of her paintings. I don’t exactly think it is fake but I am not sure of it’s significance. OK, so they are doing it but is it any good? Is it just another way of anthropomorphizing our pets? I remain unconvinced but will be watching my dog around the art supplies.

On another note, I might prefer painting cats to cats that paint. Why would anybody do this? Besides it’s obvious hilarity. I have included my favorites in the gallery below. Enjoy!

Don't try to buy them a drink.

St.Patricks day is here again and what is it all about? Green beer? Shillelaghs? SHENANIGANS? Put all of those together and you might need a defense. Brass knuckles are a great option although they don’t need to be made of brass to be effective. They can do a double duty as well. Take this knuckle buckle by Chilean artist and designer Sebastian Errazuriz. Looks unassuming but as soon as someone pinches you for not wearing green then *CRACK*, they will never pinch you again. Or talk to you either probably. You could also try this 4 finger ring by Hafsteinn Juliusson from Iceland. Part of his “Growing Jewelry” line it might land a little softer and it is filled with grass as green as the Emerald Isle. Women might appreciate this handbag by American designer, James Piatt called “The Peace Keeper”, with a brass knuckle handle. Fashion with function. Or failing that you could just stick a roll of quarters in your fist.

He's not sleeping...

I am not one of those people who is anti fur. Nope. I understand it is a touchy subject so if you are squeamish or don’t think it’s cool then LOOK AWAY. Besides you probably can’t afford it anyway. I had at one point a collection of vintage fur pieces with the heads and feet on them plus my now infamous armadillo bag (made out of an armadillo) but I had to give most of them up for space considerations. Also, there’s not much opportunity for wearing a 6 headed mink muff around town and it makes it difficult to carry your groceries. They aren’t exactly taxidermy but they aren’t exactly fashion either. Unless you are Jean Paul Gaultier last spring with his coyote headpieces or Gareth Pugh in the same season with his rat stole (with rats made of mink – love it!). Most notably this season is Bruno Frisoni’s Dovima shoe from his “One is Too” collection, a taxidermy bird of paradise with a diamond studded head perched atop a 24 carat gold mesh shoe. What recession? Delightful!  There are also some weirdo taxidermist/artists who are making jewelry out of little critters. Loved to Death is a company out of San Francisco with a large collection of taxidermy and related jewelry. I especially like the muskrat mandible earrings with gold plated teeth and the articulated raccoon foot brooch. Julia deVille from New Zealand has some exhibition pieces like a taxidermy mouse brooch with a sterling silver tail and emerald eyes (pictured above) or a skunk stole. All the animals these naturalists use are roadkill or leftovers from taxidermists or have died a natural death, which is not something JPG can say. Plus they are much cheaper to replace should somebody throw blood at you.

Alexander McQueen exclusive to Matches UK. It is bespoken for!

Bespoke is a term being used to describe everything these days from cars to computers. The goal of the Savile Row Bespoke Association to “protect the mysterious art of bespoke tailoring” have included an attempted ruling that the word be restricted to their practice of entirely hand-made garments. They failed and it is now considered a general term for made-to-order or in many cases the definition seems to just be “to order”. It’s the new idea of luxury and is not particular to menswear. Par example,  Quintessentially Bespoke in the UK is offering exclusive designer goods like Temperley along with concierge and chauffeur services. It’s not exactly bespoke but you do get a numbered certificate with your item. They have also partnered with London boutique Matches offering limited “editions” from Alexander McQueen to Les Chiffoniers including a one of one edition bracelet with a victorian diamond fox head by Annina Vogel. Exclusivity seems to be the only way to guarantee segregation from the general public now that luxury items have become so accessible . As long as they don’t try to advertise it as Haute Couture. Karl would have a fit!